WTF (What the Food) Jalapeno Poppers

I love stuffed Jalepeno peppers, I really do.  They’re one of my favorite fatty bar-snacks (along with hot chicken wings), but I had my doubts about the quality of these pre-made Hot-Bites that my sister and I enjoyed the other night.  We were pleasantly surprised.

Ease 4.5/5 – Apart from turning on the oven and flipping partway through, these were dead-easy.

Colour 5/5 – Golden.  So golden that I wonder if these are pre-fried.. but I don’t like to ask any questions of pre-made foodstuffs, I don’t think any of us really want to know the secrets of an industry that requires ‘food scientists’ to formulate products that aren’t inedible and can qualify for various objective terms like ‘cheese food’ and ‘cheese product’.

Flavour 3.5/5 – This is where the poppers fall flat.  They were mildly spicy, which I liked, but the cheese was weirdly sweet and tangy, while the coating had a mild aftertaste of freezerburn.  A spicy, salty*, fatty treat followed by a freezerburn chaser is not delicious.

*and they are mind-numbingly salty!  3 poppers contain just shy of one quarter of your recommended daily salt intake.  Even for me, that’s a bit much.

Resemblance to packaging 4/5 – As with the Pizza Poppers, these appear too stuffed on the box, but marketing is what it is.  This is why you put a photo of yourself from 5 years ago on your internet dating profile – you’re no fool.

I don’t know if eating this much processed food has ruined my taste buds, but apart from the sweetness and freezer-burn, I enjoyed these.  I know that’s a big exception to make, but compared to Aunt Jemima’s breakfast croissant sandwich (coming soon), these were actually a joy to eat.

-Ryan

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One response to “WTF (What the Food) Jalapeno Poppers

  1. Whilst these look delicious, they do have a touch of the Britneys to them don’t you think?

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