WTF (What the Food!) Lime Soda Edition

Once again, I am pushing aside my foodie sensibilities and embracing the gourmand culture of North America by tasting some of the more outrageous gastronomical delights from the depths of hell a Walmart Supercentre.  For some reason these photos do not appear as terrifyingly green as the drink is until you click on the picture – try it and see!

Lime soda is not something that I’ve ever come across before.  I’ve had orange and grape crush as a child (a fruit-soda brand owned by Dr. Pepper), but never have I encountered something like this.

Lime Crush

Ease 5/5 – I chose to drink mine from a glass, on the rocks – because I’m classy like that.  Opening might be more difficult for a fat child accustomed to drinking these kinds of sodas, it would be like a little work-out: bend and twist.

Colour 5/5 – A beautiful, natural hugh gives your eyes a clue as to just what Lime Crush is plotting for your taste-buds.  Limes would only be this colour if they grew near a nuclear reactor.

Texture 1/5 – You wouldn’t expect a beverage to have a ‘texture’ per se… I guess technically this has more of a filminess than a texture.

Flavour 1/5 – Tastes like citric acid, sugar and green dye.  The unpleasant taste is surprising enough… until you experience the shockingly bad after-taste.  It has been 30 minutes and my tongue remains green and tingly.

Resemblance to packaging 5/5 – Good on you, Crush, for reducing your manufacturing costs by using the same dye to colour the label as you do the beverage.  I don’t see how this can be at all safe to consume, particularly for children.

I will never again drink anything that looks like it can glowing in the dark.

– Ryan

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2 responses to “WTF (What the Food!) Lime Soda Edition

  1. Ry, I love your new series. Hilarious. The fat kid thing almost made me spray coffee on the screen.

  2. Pingback: Happy birthday « I can has cheezcloth?

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